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WITCHES ARE REAL!!!


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- this entire thread as well as any calls to action in the following should be interpreted entirely as fiction, witches are not real, and the refs didn't screw your son on a pass interference call, he is slow and can't cover the deep ball and that is why he got pass interference called on him. furthermore don't hurt the zebras or Rodney Rodenstein might be officiating your next HS football game. Trust me, this is not a viable option for you.

I tried last year to nudge you people in the right direction, and you all failed miserably to take the hint!!!

Witches are real and likely the reason behind your favorite team's demise

so at great personal risk to myself, I'll make this one more on the nose

 

 

 

 

Our brethren in Salem tried to get it done, however they couldn't complete the job

 

them witches, buncha freakin shapeshifters just stopped posing as women, they went underground

that was until some time in the 1800s when they resurfaced realizing they could pose as zebras

 

and torture people mentally by ruining football games

Their most famous work was introducing pass interference into the game so they could pick their favorite team to win

because witches obviously have favorites

However, they are responsible for other atrocities as well, such as roughing the passer, and the fair catch

 

 

 

so now we have approximately 63% of all referees are actually witches in disguise

pictured below

 

20eaca9110001910e36cb8654f79b645.png

 

and there is only one indisputable way of dealing with witches

and I'm here to give you a step by step guide on how to solve the issue

 

 

phase 1: witches love money, this is common knowledge, so were going to lure them to a secure location directly after the game by using additional pay

  • the optimal location for this is your local bar
    • more info on this later.
  • if they don't fall for our money trap, you know what you have to do

55f86cd2994f46b729829f157fa0116c.png

 

 

 

 

phase 2: get as drunk as you possibly can

  • it will help you defend against the witch's mind control powers
  • liquor not beer, this step has to be done quickly

 

phase 3: interrogate them until they admit to being a witch

witches POV below

Preparing To Be Hated By Large Groups | My Least Favorite Child Today

 

phase 4: Call the police, they can handle it from here

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19 minutes ago, Bobref said:

If this thread were a horse, they’d shoot it.

Unless it had a p/p flavor to it ... then they'd just keep beating it.

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