Tanka Jahari Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 So a while back I was attending my child's Christmas concert at the local church. I felt my intestines rumbling with the dawning of a new fart. Since it was my first fart of the evening, I thought I would be safe to slide that one out, because my opening fart rarely smells. Imagine my horror when I caught the first whiff of what was easily the most potent, acrid flatus in my long career of breaking wind. I tried to act normal, hoping people would not know it was me that was responsible for the noxious cloud overtaking the sanctuary, but then my wife and another of my children started staring at me accusingly. They knew immediately that it was me. I was doomed. The worst part was that the pew I was sitting on had a thin layer of foam padding on top of the wooden base. Every time I shifted, more of the horrible smell would waft up out of the foam, adding to the volume of odor. Oh, how it lingered and lingered. I saw people in the pews in front of me looking at each other with a mixture of horror and utter disgust etched on their faces. They were trapped and they knew they had no reprieve from the wrath of my colon. Confessing to you all anonymously helps me deal with the weight of the guilt that I live with every day. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabash82 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Were the services at a Walmart? I mean, where else is there Christmas music in October?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanka Jahari Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 On 10/23/2019 at 7:40 PM, Wabash82 said: Were the services at a Walmart? I mean, where else is there Christmas music in October?! LOL, this was the latest Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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