Muda69 Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 I'll start: Did you know pirates can't finish the alphabet? They always get lost at 'C'..................... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Nowlin Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Pirate walks into a bar Bartender goes: Ok Pirate, I get the eye patch on the eye, the peg leg, and the parrot on the shoulder, but I do not get the ship's wheel on your pants Pirate: ERRRRRR DRVIN ME NUTZ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious? A: Take away the “p.” 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 14, 2020 Author Share Posted October 14, 2020 In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DE Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 3 hours ago, Muda69 said: In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy. Not going to lie, this one took me a second. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DE Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 4 hours ago, DE said: It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. 🤮 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DE Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 15, 2020 Author Share Posted October 15, 2020 Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies? He didn't have a lot of common cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender puts it down in front of him and says “that’ll be $2.” The duck says .... “put it on my bill.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Anyone: returning from using the restroom..... Me: "Everything come out alright?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 19, 2020 Author Share Posted October 19, 2020 How do you make a water bed more bouncy? You add spring water. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 I was kidnapped by mimes once They did unspeakable things to me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 23, 2020 Author Share Posted October 23, 2020 Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” Son; “Go on, then.” Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” Son; “That’s Superman.” Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 26, 2020 Author Share Posted October 26, 2020 What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted October 28, 2020 Author Share Posted October 28, 2020 How does a train eat? It goes chew, chew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted November 4, 2020 Author Share Posted November 4, 2020 Just heard the world paper tearing champion has died.... RIP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “why the long face?” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted November 5, 2020 Share Posted November 5, 2020 A woman walks into a bar carrying her pet duck. She sits down at the bar and orders a glass of wine, and a beer for the duck. The bartender says “We don’t serve pigs in here.” The woman says “You idiot. That’s a duck.” The bartender says, “ I was talking to the duck.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 Your grandmothers so fat - I took a picture of her last Christmas - and it's still printing...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep. She is infringing on my right to bear arms. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted December 17, 2020 Author Share Posted December 17, 2020 Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister... Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes It Taurus apart 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted February 18, 2021 Author Share Posted February 18, 2021 My doctor says that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go. Because they dilate. I want to tell a vaccine joke But some won't get it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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