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Best Comeback Lines


Most of the time we just stand there and take it when getting berated by a coach. And that’s the way it should be. But every once in a while the opportunity to get in a zinger presents itself, and you just can’t resist. What’s your best comeback — delivered in a totally professional manner, of course? I took advantage of one such opportunity last night.

After calling back the home team’s kickoff return TD for a block in the back while they were getting blown out:

Me:  “Coach, that was my man, and I watched him chase that kid for 30 yds., and when he caught up to him, he crushed him from behind.”
Coach: “What are you talking about? There wasn’t even a [visiting team] player anywhere around there. Only my players.”
Me: Coach, I know you’ve got an iPad over there. Go look at the play and you’ll see what I mean.”
Coach: [after watching the video] “He had his head in front. That makes the block legal, right?”
Me:  “Had his head in front of who? I thought it was only your players there.”

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Many moons ago, home team is ahead late in the game, they have not beat the visitors in a VERY long time. Visitors are attempting the throw the ball, not their forte. Home pics the ball off around midfield, I'm the covering official on the home team's sideline with the ball. Keeping in mind I have no idea what happened around the QB, much less that there was a flag. I was just the nearest striped shirt to vent to, coach comes sprinting at me:

Coach: Are you kidding me that's the worst call I've ever seen

Me: Apparently you haven't been around very long

Coach: What!

Me: Because he's made a lot worse calls than that

Coach scratches his head and walks off, his team went on to win the game. 

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