swordfish Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 I can't help but think - This has got to be a joke...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 I had to throw an entire box of animal crackers away. . . . . . . . . . . . . The seal was broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted April 22, 2021 Author Share Posted April 22, 2021 What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen? This is the last straw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted May 26, 2021 Author Share Posted May 26, 2021 I have many jokes about the unemployed. Sadly, none of them work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Share Posted December 23, 2021 Why do teachers fart in class? Because they aren’t private tutors. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted March 28, 2022 Author Share Posted March 28, 2022 If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 43 minutes ago, Muda69 said: If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss. Nice..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DE Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 On 3/28/2022 at 12:38 PM, Muda69 said: If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss. hey...i resemble that remark....😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 Did you see the new film about the invention of the tampon? It's a period piece. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted April 5, 2022 Author Share Posted April 5, 2022 I tried warning my friend about playing Russian roulette. But it went in one ear and out the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted April 13, 2022 Author Share Posted April 13, 2022 I saw a radio for sale for $1, and it had a note saying volume was stuck at full. I just knew I couldn’t turn that down. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted April 20, 2022 Author Share Posted April 20, 2022 My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, but don't worry. I'll return. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DE Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 What does the movies Titanic and The 6th Sense have in common? I see dead people. Icey dead people. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted June 12, 2022 Share Posted June 12, 2022 My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's. We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since... I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE. My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee..... When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote….... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted July 12, 2022 Author Share Posted July 12, 2022 I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself Eileen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobref Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 38 minutes ago, Muda69 said: I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself Eileen. I know her. She works at IHOP. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 16 hours ago, Bobref said: I know her. She works at IHOP. Her Japanese husband calls her "Irene"....... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted July 15, 2022 Author Share Posted July 15, 2022 people ask me why i only type dad jokes using lower case letters look, i stopped giving a shift a long time ago 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted August 23, 2022 Author Share Posted August 23, 2022 What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted August 29, 2022 Author Share Posted August 29, 2022 What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? A milk dud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted September 6, 2022 Author Share Posted September 6, 2022 What would happen if a piano fell on you? You’d b-flat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted September 8, 2022 Author Share Posted September 8, 2022 Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. It is just a light sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muda69 Posted September 13, 2022 Author Share Posted September 13, 2022 (NSFW) I was winning an argument with my wife when all of a sudden she took off her shirt and bra. It was a booby trap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 21 hours ago, Muda69 said: (NSFW) I was winning an argument with my wife when all of a sudden she took off her shirt and bra. It was a booby trap. Works every time..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 What's the difference between the Titanic and the State of California? The Titanic had its lights on when it sank. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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