swordfish Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 I can't help but think - This has got to be a joke......
Muda69 Posted March 24, 2021 Author Posted March 24, 2021 I had to throw an entire box of animal crackers away. . . . . . . . . . . . . The seal was broken.
Muda69 Posted April 22, 2021 Author Posted April 22, 2021 What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen? This is the last straw.
Muda69 Posted May 26, 2021 Author Posted May 26, 2021 I have many jokes about the unemployed. Sadly, none of them work. 1
Muda69 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Posted December 23, 2021 Why do teachers fart in class? Because they aren’t private tutors. 2
Muda69 Posted March 28, 2022 Author Posted March 28, 2022 If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss.
swordfish Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 43 minutes ago, Muda69 said: If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss. Nice.....
DE Posted March 30, 2022 Posted March 30, 2022 On 3/28/2022 at 12:38 PM, Muda69 said: If Jada Smith doesn’t like jokes about alopecia Then that’s hair loss. hey...i resemble that remark....😂
Muda69 Posted March 30, 2022 Author Posted March 30, 2022 Did you see the new film about the invention of the tampon? It's a period piece. 1
Muda69 Posted April 5, 2022 Author Posted April 5, 2022 I tried warning my friend about playing Russian roulette. But it went in one ear and out the other.
Muda69 Posted April 13, 2022 Author Posted April 13, 2022 I saw a radio for sale for $1, and it had a note saying volume was stuck at full. I just knew I couldn’t turn that down. 1
Muda69 Posted April 20, 2022 Author Posted April 20, 2022 My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, but don't worry. I'll return. 1
DE Posted April 22, 2022 Posted April 22, 2022 What does the movies Titanic and The 6th Sense have in common? I see dead people. Icey dead people. 1 1
Bobref Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's. We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since... I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE. My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee..... When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they breed, and they vote….... 1
Muda69 Posted July 12, 2022 Author Posted July 12, 2022 I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself Eileen.
Bobref Posted July 12, 2022 Posted July 12, 2022 38 minutes ago, Muda69 said: I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself Eileen. I know her. She works at IHOP. 1 1
swordfish Posted July 13, 2022 Posted July 13, 2022 16 hours ago, Bobref said: I know her. She works at IHOP. Her Japanese husband calls her "Irene"....... 2
Muda69 Posted July 15, 2022 Author Posted July 15, 2022 people ask me why i only type dad jokes using lower case letters look, i stopped giving a shift a long time ago 1
Muda69 Posted August 23, 2022 Author Posted August 23, 2022 What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller. 1
Muda69 Posted August 29, 2022 Author Posted August 29, 2022 What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? A milk dud.
Muda69 Posted September 6, 2022 Author Posted September 6, 2022 What would happen if a piano fell on you? You’d b-flat. 1
Muda69 Posted September 8, 2022 Author Posted September 8, 2022 Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. It is just a light sentence.
Muda69 Posted September 13, 2022 Author Posted September 13, 2022 (NSFW) I was winning an argument with my wife when all of a sudden she took off her shirt and bra. It was a booby trap. 1
swordfish Posted September 14, 2022 Posted September 14, 2022 21 hours ago, Muda69 said: (NSFW) I was winning an argument with my wife when all of a sudden she took off her shirt and bra. It was a booby trap. Works every time..... 1
swordfish Posted September 15, 2022 Posted September 15, 2022 What's the difference between the Titanic and the State of California? The Titanic had its lights on when it sank. 1
Recommended Posts