Tanka Jahari

On a scale ranging from spaghetti noodle to granite counter top, how hard were you when you posted this article? Please be honest Sir.

I'm here for you Bob any time you need to talk. There are so many things we could discuss. We could talk about the weather or officiating mechanics. We could discuss why the Hi-Pod X31 is the best endzone camera for performance and value. We could even just talk about how our day went. Just let me know Sir.

Who hurt you Bob?

Bull butter! It's named after Brian Moore. Next thing you'll try to tell me is that the city of Moore, Oklahoma isn't named after Coach Moore.

Booooooooooo, Sir!!!!!!! Boooooooooooooooooo, I say!!!!!!!!

"When it comes to the play-offs, anything isn't not possible." Abe Lincolns

Sir, if you attempt to pet me I will revoke your fart sandwich immediately.

Scenario 1: Team A has a Hi-Pod X31 endzone camera and Team B has no endzone camera. Team A is required to share their endzone film with Team B. Scenario 2: Team A has a Hi-Pod X31 endzone camera and Team B has a Sideline Power 20 foot Hi-Def endzone camera. Team A is not required to share their endzone film with Team B.

CHUTES AND LADDERS

Bobert, you make a great point. You are speaking my language Sir. However, when it comes to play-off football, my original statement rings true. Now enjoy this flatus hoagie that I am delivering to you this morning.

I was thinking more along the lines of the Rockville Rox

In the Indiana high school football tournament anything isn't not possible on any given Friday night.

Sir, you spelled Wolfs incorrectly.

Sir, that is certainly a factor to consider. However, that just goes to show how good the Parke Heritage Wolfs are. Even a Hi-Pod X31 can't tip the game in the Falcon's favor. The Moore River, located in Western Australia, is indeed named after Hall of Fame Coach Brian Moore of the Parke Heritage Wolfs. Look it up, I dare you.

Sir, you misspelled Wolfs.

Who's hungry for some farm fresh fart sandwiches this morning? I don't see any way that the Wolfs will lose to the Falcons this time around. The statistics favor the Wolfs. Is their offense the best in the history of the WRC? I'll let you be the judge, but let me provide some evidence first. Wolfs quarterback White is ranked 8th (!) in the entire USA in passing yards. Wolfs receiver Johnson is ranked 30th (!) in the entire USA in receiving yards. With this type of fire power, the Wolfs are destined for a state championship. Now, everyone enjoy your flatus hoagies delivered by Tanka.

I have heard that the Wolfs caravan will leave Rockville promptly at 5:00.

@1st_and_10 it depends on what you are looking for. If you're in the mood for a piping hot juicy fart sandwich I would suggest the Taco Bell, which recently reopened. If you're looking for great food I would recommend Gerrie's. I very much enjoy their calzones. If you're looking for a 12 month calendar featuring pictures of South Vermillion football coach Greg Barrett wearing only speedos and a visor, you can pick one up at the Corner Stop gas station.

Thank you Sir. Now enjoy your fart sandwich.

Miner Pride you spelled Wolfs wrong. It's Wolfs, not Wolves

It is time for me to deliver a helping of piping hot fart sandwiches on this Friday morning. 1. Parke Heritage can name their score tonight against Attica. It is the year of the Wolfs and no one will deny them. Juggernaut you say? I will agree with that. The Wolfs are on track to win the state championship. They are possibly the best team in the history of the WRC. 2. Fart Noise C. North Vermillion is favored to win this game against South Putnam. If the Eagles are unable to pull off the upset the Falcons will win. I have heard through the grape vine that South Putnam will be borrowing some inmates from Putnamville and suiting them up to play tonight. D. The Boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Brian Moore.

When Tom Landry passed away, he was greeted at the Pearly gates by Saint Peter. St. Pete said "Welcome Coach Landry and job well done. We have a surprise waiting for you that we think you'll be very pleased with." He led Coach Landry through the gates and down a golden road. Coach Landry's curiosity and excitement began to grow as he saw that they were walking towards a large stadium. As they came closer, Coach Landry could hear the sound of loud cheers. He looked at St. Peter who simply smiled back at him. When they arrived at the stadium St. Peter led him through the tunnel and onto the playing field. The stadium erupted with cheers when the crowd of angels saw him walking toward the sideline. St. Peter turned to him and said with a wink "Welcome to the game Coach Landry. We've been patiently awaiting this day." Coach Landry looked across the field and saw his old friend and rival Vince Lombardi waiving to him, ready to do battle once more. As St. Peter turned to walk away Coach Landry stopped him and said "Saint Peter, this is all wonderful. I can't wait to start the game, but before you go I have to ask you a question. I see there is a strange tower like contraption located behind each endzone. What are those?" Saint Peter replyed "those are endzone cameras. They film the game from an elevated endzone perspective for you to use for evaluation and teaching purposes. It's a fascinating tool that has evolved for coaches. Your camera is located in the South endzone. It's a Sideline Power 20 foot High Definition model with a 19 inch monitor. It's a really good model. I think you'll be very pleased with the results." Saint Peter could see that Coach Landry had a puzzled look on his face so he asked him what was wrong. Coach Landry replied "Well Saint Peter, I certainly don't mean to complain, but I can see that Coach Lombardi has a much taller endzone camera in the North endzone. Why does he get to use that one and what is the difference between it and my model?" Saint Peter smiled with a look of amusement washing over his expression. He nodded and said "Oh, that's a Hi-Pod X31 endzone camera. It has a 31 foot telescoping tower, High Definition camera, 11 inch High Definition monitor, and premium rain gear. Also, that's not Coach Lombardi's endzone camera. That's God's endzone camera".

Sir, it brings a tear to my eye to imagine the boundless joy that Coach Lombardi would have experienced watching endzone cut-ups filmed from a Hi-Pod X31.

I think Linton would be much better prepared for this game with Mater Dei if they had played the mighty Parke Heritage Wolfs. Sometimes you can gain from losing in a regular season game if it better prepares you for the playoffs. There would be no shame in the Miners losing to the Wolfs.