2 things....
#1 - IME, Fort Branch has the worst muffins around. They're musty, dry, and smell like they were baked in a fish tank 🤮. OTOH, Miner City is world renowned for the quality of our muffins. They're always fresh, warm, and moist!
#2 - We have no use for Telecom Engineers around these parts. Until we get some rural cell service up here, all Telecom Engineers risk being shot on sight