One of my youth coaches back in the day was a bit cruder in the technique. He always told us to watch the guy's balls because he wasn't going anywhere without them.
There's nothing telling about it. You are just looking for an argument.
And in your hypothetical situation you celebrate the win and point out the preferred tackling method in film.
Had my parents believed something that absurd I would have never played football. I've never begrudged a parent's paranoia about football. There are other sports/activities for their kids.