Blog..."Who has changed more the parents or the kids?"

[rglodich]

My latest blog as a retired head football coach that has transitioned into authorship. I feel blessed that forums the Grindirondigest.net allow me to share my blogs. The coaching fraternity is special. Hope you enjoy. RG

https://www.ronglodich.com/author-blog/xwe73ge6urrqdzb07kiuriw3hk2xtj

[Sparty]

Parents

[GOLDRUSH1985]

1 hour ago, rglodich said:

My latest blog as a retired head football coach that has transitioned into authorship. I feel blessed that forums the Grindirondigest.net allow me to share my blogs. The coaching fraternity is special. Hope you enjoy. RG

https://www.ronglodich.com/author-blog/xwe73ge6urrqdzb07kiuriw3hk2xtj

A great read and so true . 

[foxbat]

I'd say it's kids BECAUSE of their parents.  I've rarely had a problem kid on a team, after having met the parent(s), that I didn't know EXACTLY why the kid was the way they were.  Conversely, there have been some really good ones IN SPITE OF their parents.

[Bobref]

I’d love to hear @Impartial_Observer’s take on this, as both a parent and coach.

[Julio]

Parents

 

[Cheez]

I agree, it's parents (or, rather, just the adults in general). I still think the average kid doesn't care if they have a 10-yard night or a 100-yard night as long as they're on a team and having fun, they're going to battle with their buddies, and they feel like they're contributing. You have lots of athletes who would rather have 8 catches for 150 yards in a loss than a night where they maybe went 1 for 10, but it was a game that the team won - And I think that comes from parent pressure. Kids nowadays are different, you can't argue that. But they're different as a result of their environment.

[Plymouthfan91]

At my school the problem is a little bit of both.  Kids in all sports here feel it is a put down to be on JV or C Team.  They don't look at playing sports as a means to compete, they look at it as status.  In the past your played freshman as a freshman, you played JV as a sophomore and sometimes as a junior, then your senior year you got to varsity and could play there.  Now it seems kids and parents think that JV is a death sentence.  I have seen kids quit a sport because they weren't going to be varsity as a sophomore.  It is hard to build a program when you can't have at least a JV playing on Saturdays to get experience and build that depth you need for next season.  Waiting your turn has been lost on this generation.  If they can't be good now they just quit.

[First_Backer_Inside]

37 minutes ago, Plymouthfan91 said:

At my school the problem is a little bit of both.  Kids in all sports here feel it is a put down to be on JV or C Team.  They don't look at playing sports as a means to compete, they look at it as status.  In the past your played freshman as a freshman, you played JV as a sophomore and sometimes as a junior, then your senior year you got to varsity and could play there.  Now it seems kids and parents think that JV is a death sentence.  I have seen kids quit a sport because they weren't going to be varsity as a sophomore.  It is hard to build a program when you can't have at least a JV playing on Saturdays to get experience and build that depth you need for next season.  Waiting your turn has been lost on this generation.  If they can't be good now they just quit.

You lose a game for every Sophomore you have to put on the field. Rochester started 2 sophomores this last year, one on offense and one on defense...our record was 9-2 last year. 

Our JV had a great year and a lot of the guys we are going to rely on this next year have caught up or even passed the guys we started last year as sophomores. There are benefits to getting a lot of game time reps no matter what level of football you are playing. Sad to hear it is being viewed as a status rather than an opportunity to grow and mature.

[Coach Nowlin]

We started a Freshman LG from Week 3 thur Week 12 and Sophomore CB from Week 4 or 5 on who replaced another SOPH,  but we only have 2 SOPH on team last year, does that equate?   9-3

I think next year we will be starting minimum of 2 if not 3 or 4 Sophomores and Freshman, should I expect a 4 loss year?  

 

[Muda69]

4 hours ago, Plymouthfan91 said:

At my school the problem is a little bit of both.  Kids in all sports here feel it is a put down to be on JV or C Team.  They don't look at playing sports as a means to compete, they look at it as status.  In the past your played freshman as a freshman, you played JV as a sophomore and sometimes as a junior, then your senior year you got to varsity and could play there.  Now it seems kids and parents think that JV is a death sentence.  I have seen kids quit a sport because they weren't going to be varsity as a sophomore.  It is hard to build a program when you can't have at least a JV playing on Saturdays to get experience and build that depth you need for next season.  Waiting your turn has been lost on this generation.  If they can't be good now they just quit.

Gosh darn it,  Johnny isn't going to be seen by some college talent scout wasting away on the JV squad. 

[Impartial_Observer]

On 1/13/2026 at 2:43 PM, Bobref said:

I’d love to hear @Impartial_Observer’s take on this, as both a parent and coach.

I will expand later when I have more time, and I haven’t read the OP’s blog yet. I really believe there’s a third component to this discussion as it relates to HS sports and that component is club sports.  The short answer to the question is the universe is in a constant state of evolution. 

[crimsonace1]

16 hours ago, Impartial_Observer said:

I will expand later when I have more time, and I haven’t read the OP’s blog yet. I really believe there’s a third component to this discussion as it relates to HS sports and that component is club sports.  The short answer to the question is the universe is in a constant state of evolution. 

Bingo. When I coached girls basketball 20 years ago, that was when club sports were just starting to take root. We had A LOT of 2-3 sport athletes when I started. We have two volleyball players on the basketball team - but they're basketball-first kids. Otherwise, if you're a volleyball kid, you don't play basketball because the club season just conveniently happens to run from December-February (and, IMO, that's intentional). 

But even then, kids began to view it as an insult to be on JV. They were varsity players on the soccer team (e.g., they dressed and played a few minutes in blowouts) as sophomores and freshmen, so if I'm not varsity by my sophomore year, I'm quitting. And because basketball doesn't have the "thou shalt play club or thou shalt get cut/passed over" culture, kids view it as a lesser sport because they're not sucked into a year-round club, and they just quit basketball. The numbers and quality of girls basketball, especially, has declined markedly in the last 15 years. 

[Julio]

When club sports started, there were only a few and the elite players were on them.  Now that clubs have seen the money they can make, it seems that everybody is now on a club team. I have seen players that can not make varsity in high school but parents brag about how good they are on there club team and if the high school coach was any good they would start their kid on Varsity.  There are 2 type of kids that join club sports in my opinion, those that are use to promote the club and those that pay the bills to keep the lights on.  

[oldtimeqb]

My observation: 25 years ago, I loved playing rec league softball.  Those leagues are gone now.  The guys that would play in that league are now 5-6 deep "coaching" their kid's travel softball/ baseball team every weekend. 

The kids are a reflection of parents living vicariously through them.  

[Cheez]

"But, Coach, we pay $1000 a month for little Billy to see a private trainer. How is it possible that he's not going to make the varsity team?"

When you go to the barber, the barber will never tell you that you don't need a haircut. 

[Muda69]

15 minutes ago, Julio said:

There are 2 type of kids that join club sports in my opinion, those that are use to promote the club and those that pay the bills to keep the lights on.  

Yep. Local little league baseball leagues are basically the same way.  The teams coaches divvy up the kids who are most likely to be "all stars" and concentrate on developing them, the rest are just fodder that receive very little teaching/coaching. But the fee their parents paid "keeps the lights" on, as Julio most eloquently  put it.

 

[Coach Nowlin]

2 hours ago, Julio said:

When club sports started, there were only a few and the elite players were on them.  Now that clubs have seen the money they can make, it seems that everybody is now on a club team. I have seen players that can not make varsity in high school but parents brag about how good they are on there club team and if the high school coach was any good they would start their kid on Varsity.  There are 2 type of kids that join club sports in my opinion, those that are use to promote the club and those that pay the bills to keep the lights on.  

My daughter picked up Volleyball at Crown Point Middle School because of her PE teacher, comes home and says, Dad, I really liked it, we choose to not play the game of  club, she went out for the 7th grade team, made it, then worked her way into some 7th tournaments, then made the 8th grade team and worked her way into A rotation and went to all the Tournaments.    She did all the HS Camps as well.   Goes out for HS team at Crown Point:   70 some girls for 35 total spots and 6 freshman setters including the HC daughter (very good btw). She did not make the team.   Some folks tried to tell me bc she wasn't on a club previously, I said, what I have always said, if she is good enough then she is good enough, we do not need to go spend 5k to 10k on club volleyball to prove it one way or another.   My Mrs. felt bad I think about her 1st real crap sandwich she had to eat for the 1st time in her 15 years of existence (proud of her, had her moment I was told at the lunch counter, but then instead of teenage rage, she collector herself and went out and hung with neighbor pals for next 7 hours).  So Wife finds a local club that was reasonable, I think about $2200 with 1 or 2 maybe overnights.     We felt strong that we wanted her to do it and the price was not outrageous to have her have an experience that we were seeking:  Time Management, Social engagements, Competitive teamwork , team building attributes that she was going to  miss out on after not earning the opportunity at her local HS .   We did that Frosh and Soph years, this past year she chose to exit and wanted to get more involved with Best Buddies program and unified Track she did last spring and of course WORK MORE because 7 brew and Chipotle doesn't pay for itself nor do her parents pay for it !!!   

Each experiences can be different, but I know their are real tough stories out there that didn't go so great 

2 hours ago, oldtimeqb said:

My observation: 25 years ago, I loved playing rec league softball.  Those leagues are gone now.  The guys that would play in that league are now 5-6 deep "coaching" their kid's travel softball/ baseball team every weekend. 

The kids are a reflection of parents living vicariously through them.  

Seen that as well 

both from the umpire perspective when I used to do it ... the numbers in CP have dwindled but the exhorbant amount of youth travel for baseball softball has picked up like never before 

 

[foxbat]

26 minutes ago, Coach Nowlin said:

  So Wife finds a local club that was reasonable, I think about $2200 with 1 or 2 maybe overnights.     We felt strong that we wanted her to do it and the price was not outrageous to have her have an experience that we were seeking:  Time Management, Social engagements, Competitive teamwork , team building attributes that she was going to  miss out on after not earning the opportunity at her local HS .  

 

Each experiences can be different, but I know their are real tough stories out there that didn't go so great 

 

 

This is pretty much the route we've taken with our boys.  They played for "club"/"travel" teams, but these were associated with the local high school rather than with a region.  The boys played ball with programs that fed into LCC/Jeff as well as Harrison.  The boys play with the kids they go / went to high school with.  At the high school level, they played on teams that were conglomerations of the local high schools.  This summer my youngest will play on a team with kids from Harrison, LCC, and McCutcheon as well as a couple of kids who played with Harrison in the youth programs but are now at schools like Frontier and Seeger.  The oldest boy did the same in high school playing with kids from BC, Harrison, McCutcheon, Twin Lakes, Delphi, and Jeff.  While there was aleways the temptation and opportunities at times to play with some of the franchise programs, in giving the boys the ability to make the call of where they wanted to play or even try out, then consistently came back to playing with their classmates and kids from the area that they knew.  The younger one has had opportunity to play with some franchise teams on an ad hoc basis like in the off-season for a single tournament when his team wasn't active or in a tournament after his team had finished their season, but the local "club" approach has been good for the boys and the family.  Like you mentioned, much more reasonable cost, a couple of over-nighters, pretty much most travel limited to instate or just across the border in Illinois and Ohio and coaches that believe in sometimes taking a break for family things.  The camaraderie for the high school teams isn't bad either.

[PHJIrish]

On 1/13/2026 at 1:38 PM, Sparty said:

Parents

Yep!  They can be a handful!

[Justasportsfan]

On 1/14/2026 at 2:10 PM, Muda69 said:

Gosh darn it,  Johnny isn't going to be seen by some college talent scout wasting away on the JV squad. 

No need to be Varsity anymore. Work out and go to camps after creating a highlight tape doing whatever it is they want to do. If they have the size, speed and hit the metrics, they will catch someone's eye as long as they can get to a camp at some point...other side of that..kid has no speed and lacks size yet puts up astronomical numbers against subpar competition and creates a scholarship somehow...merica!

[First_Backer_Inside]

On 1/14/2026 at 1:57 PM, Coach Nowlin said:

We started a Freshman LG from Week 3 thur Week 12 and Sophomore CB from Week 4 or 5 on who replaced another SOPH,  but we only have 2 SOPH on team last year, does that equate?   9-3

I think next year we will be starting minimum of 2 if not 3 or 4 Sophomores and Freshman, should I expect a 4 loss year?  

 

Just what my old man told me every year I wanted to start a Sophomore I thought was ready to play varsity defense for me. Just something I keep in the back of my mind all the time now as I piece together depth charts going into a season. It usually fits a lot of the seasons we look back on. 

Jack Kiser was the only Freshman/Sophomore that played varsity for pioneer his Freshman year I believe. That team lost one game! (Just happens to be one of the greatest LCC teams to ever take the field probably lol).