Funny Football Quotes

[Goose Liver]

“We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.” – Bruce Coslet

[temptation]

As a Michigan guy, it pains me to admit that two of my favorite football quotes came out of Woody Hayes’ mouth.

”Why did you choose to go for two in that situation coach?”

”Because I couldn’t go for THREE.”

”Why don’t you pass the ball more often?”

”When you pass, there are three possible outcomes and TWO of them are BAD!”

[Bobref]

5 minutes ago, temptation said:

”Why did you choose to go for two in that situation coach?”

”Because I couldn’t go for THREE.”

One of my favorites. To put it in context, it was the 1968 OSU - Michigan game, and the Buckeyes were leading 50-14 in the final minutes of the 4th period. 😂🤣😆

[temptation]

1 minute ago, Bobref said:

One of my favorites. To put it in context, it was the 1968 OSU - Michigan game, and the Buckeyes were leading 50-14 in the final minutes of the 4th period. 😂🤣😆

Now do 1969...

[Titan32]

I had a coach in 1988 ask a fellow teammate, "how could anyone be so stupid and live so long"?

[oldtimeqb]

Reporter: Coach, what do you think of your team's execution?

John McKay: I'm in favor of it.

 

[Gipper]

Playoffs?!?

Diddly poo.

--Jim Mora

[Guest DT]

"Im a man.  Im 40!"

"Who you crappin?"

"Bears, Bears, Bears, Bulls, Bears, Ditka, Sausage."

[Guest DT]

"What does NFL stand for ?  Not for Long"  - Jimmie Johnson

 

[Bobref]

49 minutes ago, DT said:

"What does NFL stand for ?  Not for Long"  - Jimmie Johnson

 

He stole that from the late Jerry Granville. https://www.quotetab.com/quote/by-jerry-glanville/if-youre-a-pro-coach-nfl-stands-for-not-for-long

[Gipper]

"San Dimas High School Football rules!!!"

 

--Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan

[SenatorFan]

I believe this was Tom Coughlin in a post game press conference after Boston College beat Notre Dame.

Reporter: Coach in your wildest dreams did you think you would beat this Notre Dame team?

Coughlin: My wildest dreams have nothing to do with football.

Edited March 12, 2021 by SenatorFan
correct spelling

[Gipper]

Coach McGrath: “Finch, you’re going in.”

Finch: “Only if you pay me.”

 

 

A few scenes later...

Coach Darwill: “The money’s in his jock!”

Edited March 13, 2021 by Gipper

[CoachGallogly]

"We're not very big, but we make up for it by being slow." -??

[Bobref]

On 3/12/2021 at 8:42 AM, temptation said:

Now do 1969...

You really don't want to go year by year, do you?

[Goose Liver]

“I’m travelling to all 51 States to see who can stop 85” – Chad Ochocinco/Johnson

[NorthKnox94]

My head coach to an Academic all stater one day when he didn't understand a concept!  "Boy, you are the dumbest smart guy I have ever known!"

 

 

[Bobref]

Eddie LeBaron, at 5’7”, was the shortest NFL QB I ever saw. He was a good player for Washington, and then the expansion Dallas Cowboys. DLs were not quite so big in those days, but among the biggest was 6’6” 284# Eugene “Big Daddy” Lipscomb. One day, after being frustrated by chasing LeBaron around all afternoon, Big Daddy yelled at him, “when I catch you, I’m going to bite your head off and swallow it.” LeBaron replied, “If you do, you’ll have a lot more brains in your stomach then you ever had in your head!”

[Ugminer]

On 3/12/2021 at 11:30 PM, Gipper said:

Coach McGrath: “Finch, you’re going in.”

Finch: “Only if you pay me.”

 

 

A few scenes later...

Coach Darwill: “The money’s 

For some reason the first time i ever went down to Lawrenceburg, it reminded me of that movie lol.

[jakone]

Not American football but English soccer. Long before concussion protocol rules a player got knocked out. While getting treatment on the sideline the coach approached the trainer and asked about the player. He said how is he and the trainer said the player doesn't know who he is. The coach replied "tell him he's Pele and get back in there."

Edited March 17, 2021 by jakone

[BDGiant93]

"You hit or you sit."

"When in doubt, hit somebody."

Both from Dick Dullaghan

[MHSTigerFan]

On 3/12/2021 at 2:45 PM, Bobref said:

He stole that from the late Jerry Granville. https://www.quotetab.com/quote/by-jerry-glanville/if-youre-a-pro-coach-nfl-stands-for-not-for-long

It’s Glanville.

And rumors of his death have been...greatly exaggerated.  Jerry’s still kickin’ at 79!

[MHSTigerFan]

On 3/12/2021 at 10:00 AM, oldtimeqb said:

Reporter: Coach, what do you think of your team's execution?

John McKay: I'm in favor of it.

 

McKay was the Frank Layden of football.

Here’s another great McKay line:

After receiving harsh criticism from the media about McKay's coaching skills in the NFL, McKay replies "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a bunch of bananas." In the next interview, members of the media left bananas for McKay. He then replied, "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes Benz."

[Muda69]

On 3/12/2021 at 9:33 AM, temptation said:

As a Michigan guy, it pains me to admit that two of my favorite football quotes came out of Woody Hayes’ mouth.

”Why did you choose to go for two in that situation coach?”

”Because I couldn’t go for THREE.”

”Why don’t you pass the ball more often?”

”When you pass, there are three possible outcomes and TWO of them are BAD!”

Actually the origin of this quote has been attributed to multiple football coaches. Darrell Royal of Texas, Robert Neyland of Tennessee, and Duffy Daugherty of Michigan State to name an additional few.

 

 

[maroonman]

Many years ago (1998) I shared a luncheon table with Walter Stuhldreher, nephew of Four Horsemen quarterback Harry Stuhldreher.

He told several stories of his uncle and the Four Horsemen.

One of my favorites involves Knute Rockne and “Sleepy” Jim Crowley.

At practice during the week of the Army game in 1924 (where the legend of the Notre Dame Four Horsemen was born), Crowley had messed up a couple of plays.

Rockne, ever the perfectionist and already frustrated with Crowley’s practice habits, screamed across the field, “What’s dumber than a dumb Irishman?” 

With no hesitation, Crowley shouted back… “a smart Swede”.

Practice was interrupted only briefly as Crowley did a few extra calisthenics.

Of course, Rockne was Norwegian rather than Swedish, but everyone got a kick out of it anyway.

Edited March 17, 2021 by maroonman